Suzuki's Thoughts: The Baltimore Bridge Collapse and the Collective Conspiracist Brain Rot


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n the early morning hours of March 26, 2024, a fully-loaded Singaporean cargo ship, the MV Dali, lost power and crashed into one of the support columns of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore, Maryland, causing most of the bridge to collapse and spill its occupants into the water. As of the time of this writing, two people were injured in the collapse and six people are still missing and presumed dead.

There is a lot we still don't know about this tragedy, but all indications currently point towards this being a perfect storm of bad circumstances leading to an unfortunate accident. The Dali appears to have lost power while moving through the Patapsco River under the bridge, and, unable to steer out of the way, collided with one of the bridge's support columns. The Francis Scott Key Bridge was a thoroughly inspected, well-built, well-maintained bridge, but there was little it could do to withstand the impact of a 220,000 ton, out-of-control cargo ship hitting one of its support columns.

But, unfortunately, in the wake of this accident, we were yet again reminded that - in today's world - no incident can ever be allowed to happen in a vacuum. To the masses of conspiratorial nitwits that crowd the sewers of the internet, tragic accidents and coincidences simply don't exist. Everything - from the raging war in Ukraine to the death of some mildly famous person - is, in their minds, part of a giant, elaborate conspiracy. And this disaster was no exception.

Before first responders had even assessed the situation, wild theories began circulating online as internet personalities, conspiracy theorists, and other manifestations of brain rot took to X (formerly Twitter) to spread an endless list of half-baked conspiracy theories.

Right-wing misogynist and accused sex trafficker Andrew Tate wasted no time in posting what can charitably be called his "thoughts" on the disaster.

"This ship was cyber-attacked", Tate tweeted a few hours after the attack, providing no evidence for his outlandish claim. "Lights go off and it deliberately steers towards the bridge supports. Foreign agents of the USA attack digital infrastructures".

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones retweeted Tate's post with his own hot take. "Looks deliberate to me. A cyber-attack is probable", Jones tweeted. "WW3 has already started". 

The far-left, anti-Israel, and "anti-war" crowd had its own theories ready to go. A viral post accused Israel's "Talmudic network" of bringing down the bridge, citing a vandalized Wikipedia page as "evidence". Other users, resentful of US military aid to Ukraine, baselessly claimed that the captain of the Dali was a "Ukrainian national". Despite this claim being patently false (all of the crew were Indian nationals), the claim went viral on social media. Other non-interventionist types blamed foreign aid to Ukraine for the collapse of the bridge, claiming (falsely) that the aid to Ukraine was done at the expense of money to improve infrastructure.

Twitter user Catturd - a far-right social media influencer with over 82 million followers - also took part in spreading vague conspiracy theories about the disaster, tweeting:

"Just hours after the bridge collapsed.
FBI - accident
Mayor - accident
Governor - accident
Biden regime - accident
Me - thanks, now I'm positive it wasn't an accident"

Ridiculous theories weren't just limited to the fringes of the internet. Fox News hosts like Jesse Watters also engaged in their own unfounded, scattershot, blame-game punditry.

"We have to get to the bottom of this. A cargo ship hasn't taken out a bridge in decades, and a ship as far as we can tell has never sustained a power failure for a bridge knockdown", Watters told his viewers on Fox News, fallaciously implying that, just because an incident like this hasn't happened in a long time, therefore it can't happen again.

His colleague, Fox host Maria Bartiromo, also attempted to shift blame for the incident to President Biden, saying that although the White House stated there was no evidence of foul play, she was concerned about the "potential for foul play given the wide-open border".

Matt Schlapp of the far-right outlet Newsmax even blamed "COVID lockdowns" for the disaster, saying: "You look at our critical infrastructure and I'm one of these people who fully believes that we never came out of all the lockdowns and the COVID issues [...] I'm no actual expert with what's going on with the seas, but I'm gonna say if you talk to employers in America, they'll tell you that filling slots with employees who are drug-addled is a huge problem"

All of this nonsense has been extremely frustrating to witness. For whatever reason, these conspiracy-minded imbeciles seem incapable of conceiving that sometimes accidents just happen. Not everything is a grand conspiracy or the fault of some vaguely-defined boogeyman. 

This collective brain rot over the tragedy in Baltimore, more than anything, perfectly encapsulates the utter stupidity of conspiracy theorists. Nothing ever happens in a vacuum to them. Human error, coincidences, and accidents are concepts completely lost to them. No, everything bad, everywhere, at every hour of the day, in their minds, is all part of some grand conspiracy by "the elites", "the cabal", "the establishment", or whatever other boogeyman they choose to attribute all of their personal problems to.

This is what I mean when I say that this new brand of "anti-establishment" populism - and the contrarian, conspiratorial way of thinking that it promotes - is a menace upon society. It destroys critical thinking and feeds into a sense of crippling paranoia, a sense that the entire world is out to get them. The brain rot is so widespread that even obvious accidents like the disaster in Baltimore can't even be seen for what they are - ACCIDENTS! 

There are still many unanswered questions about the disaster in Baltimore. We don't know yet why the Dali lost power. We don't know what, if anything, the crew on board could have done to avoid hitting the bridge. But there is one thing that we do know: There is absolutely no evidence that this tragedy was intentional. It was an accident. An accident that was not due to any malice, insidiousness, or malfeasance. Accidents - as we all should have learned years ago - sometimes just happen, irrespective of any other extraneous factors.

It's sad to see how many people seem to have forgotten this most simple - and important - of life's lessons.

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